So, I think we can safely say that yesterday was a BAD day. Thanks SO much to everyone who left a comment - they were really touching to read, and they have helped a lot.
One of the upsides of having a lot of animals is that you don't get the chance to wallow in self pity for very long ;). Everyone still needs feeding and watering, Granny needs her cuddles, and the pygmy goats can always be relied upon to do something so ridiculously comical you find yourself laughing out loud, in spite of how you're feeling.
And then of course there was the very practical problem - what do you do with 60-70kg of dead goat? She was too heavy for me to move on my own so I rang our neighbouring farmer, Will, and thankfully he came over straight away and helped me move her out of the pen and out of sight of the rest of the goats. But that was only half the job done.
Since the outbreak of Foot & Mouth in 2001 it has been illegal to bury fallen stock on your own land (quick point here, you'd think dead animals would be referred to as dead stock - as opposed to livestock - right? Well, no. In farming terms, dead stock means anything that isn't an animal - feed troughs, gates, fence posts, tractors. So that's dead stock, and dead animals are fallen stock. Confused? Stay with me.)
So, there are now only 2 options:
Option 1 - DEFRA operate a Fallen Stock Scheme, whereby they provide you with a list of knackermen in your "local" area (for Bedfordshire this means our nearest is in Birmingham), who will collect the animal, and charge you - for this area - about £100. It's not the money that's the problem (though I do balk at paying what seems like a hell of a lot). The main problem is that it can take up to a week to 10 days for the animal to be collected.
Option 2 - you can take the animal to the local hunt kennels, or they will come and collect it, and charge about £15 - £25. They generally come straightaway.
Now, here comes the moral dilemma. I have always been EXTREMELY anti hunting with hounds. I mean REALLY anti. So the thought of having anything to do with the local hunt is a complete anathema to me.
But the alternative is to try and bear having the poor thing lying covered up in the barn, and knowing she's there, for maybe a week or more. During Foot & Mouth I saw at first hand what a ruminant looks like when it's been dead a few days and that wasn't the final image of her I wanted in my memory.
I really wrestled with the problem all last night. I felt that going down the hunt option would be selfish, and totally against my personal beliefs, and yet I so desperately wanted her to be dignified in death. A restless night was had.
First thing this morning I rang the local hunt. The guy was here within an hour. He was kind and sympathetic, and treated her with dignity and respect. He made the whole thing as painless as it possibly could be.
In the back of my mind I really feel I've compromised my personal code of ethics. But I'd do the same thing again. I honestly never thought I would live to see the day when I was GLAD there was a local hunt. But today I was.
Now look, I promise normal service will be resumed shortly and I WILL do a knitting related post later in the week - promise ;)
